He is my lobster (if you are a fan of "Friends" then you will know what I'm talking about. "Lobsters fall in love and mate for life!") Click here to watch the YouTube clip.
We met at a church youth group but we always had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then in college we met back up, I roomed with his cousin. He went to a popular college a few hours away and they had all the "cool" concerts and parties so we would make a road trip down there and spend the weekend. This is where we began to really know each other and our friendship grew. This was over the course of a couple years. Eventually he would come visit me at my college on his way home to his parents. Then finally we kissed. Awww. Our love was developing slowly. But of course, I didn't see it at first. He on the other hand, was head over heels for me from the start.
Next, I made the biggest mistake of my life... I made a snap decision to marry my high school boyfriend who was scheduled to be deployed to Afghanistan. Duh! Never a good decision to marry someone you have been on and off again with and that was secretly CRAZY! Wes had not heard from me for about a week so when he came home he stopped by to see me at work. I had to tell him that I had gotten married. Later he told me that he was shocked and heart broken.
Well, he left for a year and left me there to pick up all the pieces. I was depressed and went a little wild myself. I went out and partied every night. Somehow I kept my grades up and still went to class everyday. But my husband expected me to pay all the bills by myself and I quickly racked up credit card debt. When he got back he had a lot of money saved up and went out and bought a brand new car with cash. All the while I had been completely stressed out about bills while he was hoarding money. This was the start of the end. Needless to say, he broke my heart by saying that he was no longer attracted to me and didn't love me any longer. I went into a major depression and ended up moving in with my parents.
I'm going to skip forward to when I finally came to my senses and fell completely in love with Wes... (and all we dealt with.)
I still deal with depression off and on to this day. The experience damaged me, hurt my self-confidence, and made me not trust anyone. Also, later I realised that I never experience unconditional love and didn't know what it was. When Wes and I got together I thought that every time I messed up that he wouldn't want me anymore and that he would also stop loving me. It was hard for both of us, I know it was frustrating for Wes as well. He loved me with all my heart and couldn't understand how someone could love me so much.
We have been through so much together and he has always stuck by my side. I have learned what unconditional love is and how to love that way. It is still hard for me sometimes to get it through my hard head that I can't do anything that will make him stop loving me. I love him for being so patient with me and teaching me one of the most important things in life.
He also gave me my precious son. Like most things in my adult life, that was a hard start as well. We have done everything in our relationship backwards. We had bought a house and moved in together in August of 2005. Then right after Mother's Day that next year, I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared to tell him, but after the initial shock of the news he embraced it. We went out and bought a baby name book right away. The hardest part was telling his parents, they are very conservative. They were also shocked and very hurt that we were not going to get married right away. Long story short, I refused to get married because I was pregnant. I thought that was very old school and I had already had one divorce and didn't want to jump into a second marriage. Finally I came to my senses after the baby was born and we got engaged. We had a beautiful wedding with our son as a ring bearer when he was about 2.
Shortly after we got married, we decided even though our family was officially complete now that we were missing something. We realized that something was God. It was slow coming for us but we knew we needed to get back into church and get right with God. We knew that we want to give our son the Christian life he deserved. We started visiting churches but didn't find the right fit right away. We still felt out of place. And we just went when we felt like it, when it was convenient. Then on Father's Day Wes redeticated his life to God. My sister had invited me to a ladies Bible study and I had been going on Monday nights and occasionally we went on Sunday mornings. I started to see that these people had something that we wanted.
Then my worst fear happened. I lost my good paying job. My confiedence was once again shredded. I couldn't find another job with that type of pay. It was awful for awhile. We started going to church everytime the doors were open. By September, my husband and I felt God calling us to join that church after attending a week long revival. I had never needed church more! We feel in love with our church family. They have embraced us and made us feel at home. I redeticated my life to Christ a year later. Our marriage has never been stronger and our relationship has really blossomed since turning it over to God.
